I'm off to CAPE COD!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Well, the day has finally come. At 3:30pm I will be leaving home and heading to the airport in Little Rock. From there I will be taking a plane to Atlanta to meet up with my girlfriend, Rhonda, and then we're off to Boston! I've never been to New England, so it should be exciting! I just know they're all going to love our Southern accents! We will stay in Boston tonight, but we'll head on down to the Cape Thursday morning. I just know it's going to be beautiful. I love the ocean, even though I rarely get to see it without having to chase a kid or two out of the water/sand/riptides, you name it! Being able to take a walk on the beach and explore on my own will be nice.

This trip almost got cancelled. So many bad things happened that seemed to be "signs" that I shouldn't go. First, David got a true scare about being laid off from work. Next, my traveling partner had a bad mammogram, a real cancer scare. Third, I broke my toe. The list just keeps going and going. Both Rhonda and I felt like we were being warned not to go. After a while, we just decided to cancel, but for some reason I didn't cancel the plane tickets or the hotel rooms right away.

It turned out that ALL of the bad things that happened resolved themselves in a positive manner. David was assigned to a new project. Rhonda's biopsy was totally clean. My toe, although still sore, is healing. Everything just sort of fell together in the right way. After seeing all of this, Rhonda and I made the decision (less than a week ago!) to go ahead with our trip.

There is one downside to our decision. I am a truly neurotic mother. I am so worried about leaving my kids for the next five days! What in the world will they do without me?!?!? Probably have a GREAT time hanging out with their Nana and their Daddy, but you know, it's hard to let go!

I often find myself having a difficult time walking away from my children, even though I really need a break! Letting them ride with other people scares me to death. They all drive CRAZY! Going to the beach scares me, too. There are riptides and jellyfish!

I am one of those mothers that is a big fat scaredy cat. I HATE having my children out of my sight. I need to trust God more. I know the world can be a big scary place and because of my fear my kids are starting to become fearful and that is something I do not want. I want them to be smart and aware, but not fearful. I need to trust God to take care of my kids.

I've been praying for knowledge, trust, and peace on this and studying my bible a bit, and I came across a few Bible verses that I liked. I hope I will be able to rely on the promises they offer and be at peace about this trip.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" (Psalm 56:3-4). God will take care of our children. He is infinitely stronger than mere man.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9). God tells us He will be there for us as we mother our children, he will be with our children when they are out of eyeshot. He will be our children's constant companion.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). As mothers, we often fret about our children's future, yet God holds their future just as he holds the future of the world.
I am trying to be strong about leaving on this trip. I am SO looking forward to time with Rhonda and exploring a new place. I am trying to focus on that and not the neurotic things that keep running through my mind. "What if they're in a car wreck while I'm gone and they're injured or killed?", "What if I'M in a car wreck while I'm gone and I'M injured or killed?", "What if my plane crashes?", "What if they get sick and need me?"... All of these things keep popping into my head and I HAVE GOT to let them go!

Pray for me while I'm on this journey. Pray for my kids, too!